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Channel: Laura Kate – The Jimquisition
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Podquisition Episode 72: The VR Daughter Faceplant Special

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Virtual Reality is finally here, but we’re too busy laughing at a kid falling over to notice. It’s really funny.

Elsewhere, we talk about butt nontroversies, Fallout 4 DLC, and pledge to bore you with Dark Souls talk forever.

Also, Boglinwatch 2016 has a terrible development.

(Faceplant gif source: www.theverge.com/2016/3/10/111963…eality-table-gif)

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Also, check out Laura Kate’s Patreon page!

Also also, check out Miracle of Sound’s channel!

Also also also, here’s Laura’s funding page!


Podquisition Animated Episode 1: Scatwoman (aka Bat Gimp)

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Podquisition co-host Laura K Buzz surprised us all by commissioning an animated version of one of our favorite Podquisition bits. I trust you’ll agree the end result is fabulous.

Relive that time we all broke down after coming up with horrible sex names for Gotham’s horniest residents, now with images you’ll have to live with!

Laura has been working on this herself, and as such, is making continued episodes a stretch goal on her Patreon. She ain’t far off, either!

Enjoy the video. I know I do.

Podquisition Episode 73: Jizzing Brown Paste On The Moon

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This week’s Podquisition is the most scientific yet, as we get the FACTS about ejaculating on the Moon. It’s pretty upsetting!

We’ve all played Dark Souls III now, so expect chat about that, alongside some impressions of Enter The Gungeon, and thoughts on the failed Rock Band 4 PC crowdfund.

Also, Boglinwatch 2016 continues…

Podquisition Episode 74: Boglinwatch 2016

Podquisition Episode 75: The Masturbatorium Chronicles

The Podquisition Episode 76: Skid Pricarus

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If you’re one of those people who did a sad over certain negative Star Fox Zero reviews, you won’t like this episode. Not at all.

Recorded early, we miss a lot of the stupid news that hit, but we’ve still got great chat on offer.

Glow-in-the-dark skeletons, PAX East experiences, and monster truck incidents all get discussed. Also Aliens.

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Also, check out Laura Kate’s Patreon page!

Also also, check out Miracle of Sound’s channel!

Podquisition Animated Episode 2: Jim’s Jizz Hands

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A new episode of Podquisition Animated is here for your pleasure. A classic bit from the early days of the show, your ol’ pal Jim Sterling got glue on his hands and filthy minds ran wild.

It seriously wasn’t spunk. I swear I didn’t DSP it while recording any of these podcasts.

Much.

As always, Laura is commissioning these and making them part of her Patreon’s stretch goal. Fun times!

Podquisition Episode 77: Radiohead

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A sad Radiohead time is delivered to your ears this week and we’re sorry about that.

Fortunately, we also bring VR talk, Uncharted 4 impressions, talk of Watch Dogs 2, and Fragments of Him.

So that’s nice!


Podquisition Episode 78: Nathan Drake Fucking An Apple

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We discuss some scenes you may have missed in Uncharted 4 – a lot of sex is involved.

Also, we chat about Battleborn, Disney Infinity‘s extinction event, and give you an E3 drinking game that may not be good for you.

Podquisition Episode 79: Barbie Girl

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You can brush our hair and undress us anywhere! The gang discusses Homefront: The Revolution which means we also sing Aqua songs for your pleasure.

There’s plenty of gushing about Doom, we talk about *that* bad gameplay video, and we discuss the upcoming Tetris trilogy.

Oh, and that Assassin’s Creed film got a trailer, I suppose.

Podquisition Episode 80: A Hobgoblin’s Knobhole

Special: Dark Souls III Spoilercast

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Your ol’ pal Jim is joined by Laura and Gavin to discuss Dark Souls III without the spoiler tags applied.

Let’s talk bosses, locations, and why a certain king can go eff himself!

Podquisition Episode 81: Shitty Bum Wiggle

Podquisition Episode 82: Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre E3

Podquisition Episode 83: Link’s Jizz Enema Murderboner

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Laura has the hottest scoops LIVE from E3! Learn how she had to sneak into Ubisoft’s press conference, hear her firsthand impressions of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

Oh, and she was almost kidnapped.

Elsewhere, we laugh at the usernames of Overwatch’s Reaper players, Link’s amiibo has a jizz problem, and there is no Beyond Good & Evil 2.


Mighty No. 9 Review – Nega Man

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URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

01

Developer: Comcept, Inti Creates
Publisher: Deep Silver
Format: PC (reviewed), PS4, Wii U, Xbox One
Released: June 21, 2016
Copy provided by publisher

Mighty No. 9 feels like a cheap Mega Man clone from a man afraid to stray too far from his best known creation while fearing accusations of sticking too close to what he was best at.

It feels cheaply presented, frustrating to play, and devoid of definitive direction.

Let’s start with the most immediately deficient aspect of Mighty No.9’s presentation, the dialogue and voice acting. A perfect example of the game’s wonky narrative is showcased in the very first spoken line of VO in the game:

“It is the current year..”

Yep, the game opens up by vaguely stating that you are playing in a world set in “the current year”. Ignore the fact the game world has sentient AI machines, a massive robot fighting colosseum, and is far more technologically advanced than our world today, it is very definitely “the current year.”

The writing rarely improves from this point. A particular highlight of the introductory mission sees a professor shocked at an ability our heroic robot is able to use before remembering that he actually programmed that ability and should not have been nearly so shocked that it was being used.

The writing is constantly contradictory, stilted and disjointed.

02

Voice acting quality doesn’t ever seem to improve either. From terrible line reads that seem to have been recorded in isolation without any thought for how emotional tone would carry between lines, to awkward pauses in VO that hamper pacing, the voice acting in Mighty No. 9 always feels like a budget product from a team struggling to pull together enough cash for their story.

I love when video games use their boss fights to push players to their limits, testing players abilities and pushing them to retry an encounter over and over in order to overcome a tough but fair challenge.

When done correctly, like in Dark Souls, Shovel Knight or Undertale, these encounters are a memorable and unique joy to overcome. Bosses throw unique challenges your way, pushing you to switch up your gameplay style until you discover a way to push through to a unique and satisfying victory.

Mighty No. 9 is tough, but not in any kind of way that feels rewarding. Everything about Mighty No. 9 screams that the lesson it took from modern gaming was that difficulty was popular without implementing any of the frustration-saving solutions modern games have developed.

Where Shovel Knight has no defined penalty for death, with anything lost when dying to a boss theoretically retrievable, Mighty No. 9 features a lives system that punishes boss deaths with needing to replay complex platforming sections every two or three attempts.

Where Undertale bosses are varied in the attacks they throw at you and the skills needed to survive, Mighty No. 9 bosses always seem to throw the same challenges at players, requiring the same steps to survive.

More than a few bosses feature the same section in their fights where they shoot projectiles that can freeze the player, initiating an impossibly timed button-mashing sequence that, when failed, results in losing an entire half of a health bar.

If, like me, you are not fast enough at mashing A quick enough for such harsh demands, many of Mighty No. 9’s boss fights might well become functionally impossible to survive.

Where Dark Souls allows players to apply persistent upgrades to themselves over time, ensuring even failed runs make future chances of success higher, Mighty No. 9 sets up brick walls and gives players no option but to bash their heads against the problem until it is gone.

In no regard is Mighty No. 9’s difficulty rewarding, it’s simply frustrating.

03

This is most disappointing because the gameplay running up to boss fights feels like classic Mega Man with a dash of speed running tech thrown in.

The jumping and shooting are responsive, enemy designs are memorable, platforming is fair if challenging and level designs are unique and instantly recognisable.

The introduction of dashes allows boss runs to be completed more quickly as you learn layouts and the idea of absorbing enemies to temporarily power yourself up adds an interesting tactical element to the order in which you kill enemies.

It’s just that the vast majority of levels end with infuriatingly tough bosses who would feel a whole lot more manageable if I had started the game with an option to shoot upwards, dash upwards to deal with bosses that cheaply move out of range, or be free of an arbitrary number of lives.

The fact that most bosses wielded an attack I was not fast enough at tapping A to effectively avoid meant that early progression was slow, infuriating and made me want to punch my screen.

This set of issues was somewhat alleviated as progression was made, but the opening segments of the game felt almost insurmountable.

Oh, and half the time Mighty No. 9 completely fails to mention mechanics available to players. The fact that regular enemies freeze on the spot when ready to be dash attacked but bosses do not is never addressed, causing early boss fight confusion. Several power ups and collectables never have their effects explained.

The fact that you can defeat enemies to build up healing items which are stored on your pause menu and can be used even when your character is unable to move is never explained. Multiple vital aspects of the game are just never effectively introduced to players.

04

What’s perhaps most annoying about Mighty No. 9 is that Inafune clearly knows how to fix many of the problems present in the game. There’s a DLC transformation that allows attacking upwards from the beginning of the game and an additional DLC boss which throws out the gimmicks and just relies on skilled combat movement to fight.

There are examples in Mighty No.9 of Inafune designing content that feels rewarding, but it’s often set aside as optional DLC rather than being a core aspect of the game’s design.

Much like an anime fan on prom night, I would rather be at home playing Mega Man than here. I would rather be playing Shovel Knight. I would rather be playing most games in this genre.

Mighty No. 9? More like Shitey No. 9!

4
Subpar

Podquisition Episode 84: Shitey No. Nein

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Boglinwatch 2016 gets a load of new developments, and two thirds of the cast talk about their injuries.

Speaking of injuries, Mighty No. 9 was released. It was sad.

Elsewhere, we talk about Scorpio backtracking, YouTube sponsorships, and Destructoid making (IN MY OPINION) a big mistake.

Oh, and here’s that video Gav wanted you to watch – www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx8sl2uC46A

You can listen/download directly here and get the RSS feed here.

Also, check out Laura Kate’s Patreon page!

Also also, check out Miracle of Sound’s channel!

Podquisition Episode 88: Pain

Podquisition Episode 89: The Sound Of 25 Years Of Sonic

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Sonic the Hedgehog had a great weekend… the same can’t be said for anybody watching his 25th anniversary livestream. We talked about that fun little circus.

Also discussed this week – Gavin’s mangled music, We Happy Few, the Sega Genesis, and loads of other bollocks.

Podquisition Episode 90: The Smell of Moby’s Dick

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Just what IS that dirty Moby up to? It’s got nothing to do with Mobius Final Fantasy, though that gets a mention too.

Elsewhere, we talk about how Aug lives totally matter, Niantic’s lack of communication over Pokemon Go, and other things as well, friend!

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